Fleshing Out Vicissitudes

 A short ish introduction post. It has been a life long habit of mine to create a new blog when there are shifts within myself. Case in point:

Incessancy was my first ever blog I created when just a baby back in 2008. I then created Two Roads Diverged later in 08 when settling some shifts in my own perspectives. I changed the URL and name in 2010 to Catching Mere Glimpses when I was struck by C.S. Lewis-esqueness of all things in view of Christ. And of course when I got married in 2012 I made a new blog, Assertions of a Housewife, 1000 % inspired by Martin Luther and his assertions.

I think what's difficult for me is to be open and transparent. I'm not always proud of who I have been, but if it weren't for the winding road I've lived and walked upon, I wouldn't be where I am now, and wouldn't have the drive to continue on in growing as a person. But part of overcoming the instinctive need to put my best foot forward and allow people to see the parts I like best about myself, I want to link to all the pieces of my (writing) past, cringe laden thoughts included. But I absolutely love this line from the Eleventh Doctor:

I want to remember all past me's, because it's made me grow in empathy, compassion, understanding, and the me now so much more gentle toward people and the different places they are in life. When in times past I've been a harsh arbiter of self righteous judgements... I turn my shame of those points in my life into compassion. Would I be as kind and willing to see people with all their flaws and potential if I hadn't gone through the ups and downs? Would others view me as the asshole I cringe to think I've been? I know without a doubt there's a portion of people who believe that, but they haven't been part of my life in 10 years, so their opinions are a moot point. I wonder about the people I've actually been connected to. I know there are people who think I've changed for the worse, when I know for an indelible fact I have changed for the better. The thing I hinge it all on are two factors, what do I think of me, and what does God think of me. All the rest is like chaff to be blown away. Easier said than done, because I am a people pleaser. But writing it out helps ground me in it.

So without further ado, Fleshing Out Vicissitudes is because I like cool new words and Vicissitude means:

Noun: a change or variation occurring in the course of something. 

interchange or alternation, as of states or things. 

vicissitudes, successive, alternating, or changing phases or conditions, as of life or fortune; ups and downs:

I'm fleshing out the changes occurring in me. The only writing I've consistently done is a Christmas letter each year. It's been 3 years since my last blog post. A friend recently encouraged me I should blog again. Here I am. I'm an external processor, and talking or writing things out really helps me flesh out my thoughts. So I'll be fleshing out these vicissitudes within myself from time to time. My biggest hurdle to overcome is to not let fear of who will read this to hold me back. Come at me bruh, I'm going to be real and if you hold it against me it's ok, I'm not better than you think I am, I'm definitely much worse, a sinner in need of the saving grace Christ offers each and every day.

Thank you for coming to my TED TALK.